First looks - Making the decision that is best for you and your day.

Are you struggling with the decision to do or not do a first look on your wedding day? Maybe neither of you have a strong opinion on the traditional aisle walk, so now you are struggling simply with which option would be better for your day. 

This can be a difficult decision, because for many couples, this is your first wedding! How do you make a choice this big when you have never had a wedding day before? For these reasons, I would love to lay out all of the advantages and disadvantages of each option, so that you can make the best decision for your day. 

However first - please know that I am not here to sway you. When asked,  I tell my clients that I am team “whatever makes you happy.” No matter the circumstances, my goals are always to give you the best gallery possible without compromising your day or making you feel rushed. 

Traditional Aisle Walk:

So! Let’s talk about a traditional first look, as the bride comes down the aisle. The biggest advantage, is staying with the tradition that you have dreamed about or even “played out” with your childhood toys. First looks haven’t always been popular, so maybe you have always envisioned seeing your husband for the first time as you walk down the aisle. A traditional aisle walk allows everyone to see you, see each other for the first time as a bride and groom. It is very cinematic! 

For the disadvantages of a traditional first look - you may not appreciate that attention. It is no secret that everyone loves seeing both the bride and groom’s reaction as she walks down the aisle. I certainly love capturing it! 

From a photography perspective, without a first look, we aren’t able to take any photos with both the bride and groom together until after the ceremony, which unfortunately will cut into the reception time. These photos take at least thirty minutes to capture from beginning to end. In this situation, you may opt to add more hours to your venue for the reception. 

Things to consider: the time of year and day that you say “I do.” Are natural light photos something that you value and look forward to in your wedding gallery or do you prefer mainly a flash-y look? It is always a great idea to look up the sunset time of your day before planning your ceremony time, or even deciding on the time of year you want to get married. All you have to do is Google “sunset (your date).”

If you are having a 5:30 ceremony in September, we will have until about 7:00 to use natural light, so doing a traditional first look may not affect these photos. However, if you are getting married at 6:00 in February and prefer not to see each other before the ceremony, your full family, wedding party and bride and groom photos can be taken afterwards in or outdoors - but will need flash. 

Pre-ceremony First Look:

One of the biggest advantages to choosing a pre-ceremony first-look, is that you will have more time to take in the day and moment together. You can also take as many or as few couples photos as you like. Plus, in most cases you will check off all of your wedding party portraits and a large amount of your family photos before you ever walk down the aisle. Increasing the amount of time they get to spend together is the most popular reason for my clients that choose to do a first look. 

A few more advantages are if either one of you is shy and doesn’t want everyone’s attention on them for this exciting and beautiful moment - first looks (and optional private vows) can be as “private” as you would like them to be. You may be okay with your wedding party and families watching from a distance, or prefer to have your media team act as paparazzi and then give you the most space possible. Either option is absolutely fine and your trusted wedding team will make that happen! 

A few final benefits - you won’t have to avoid each other before the ceremony begins, you get to have more time at your reception, and it may help you to calm your nerves before you walk down the aisle and begin the biggest events of the day. 

Finally, the disadvantages of doing a first look is simply not doing it the “traditional” way. Some can only imagine greeting each other at the ceremony, and that’s okay! 

Regardless of your decision, this day is about your love! Every one of my clients have different priorities and hopes for their wedding day and portraits, and I know you will, too. 

Want to hear from bride’s who have been there? On my Instagram, I asked anyone recently married, what they chose and if they were happy with that decision. This is what they said:

“I am all for a first look. It’s intimate, and you can party straight away with your guests! 2nd line ready!” - Rene

“I loved a first look! Seeing my fiance calmed all my nerves before walking down the aisle!” - Jade

“We did a first touch because I wanted an aisle reveal. Looking back, I wish we just had the opportunity to see each other and get out the nerves! Plus we could have gotten pics done.” - Amanda

“We did not do a first look and so glad we didn’t. Loved the first look to be on the aisle!” - Kate

“I’m so happy that we did one! It gave us time to have a moment for just ourselves.” - Bailey

“My first look was my favorite part of my wedding day! I will cherish that moment, always.” - Caroline

“I was pretty set on not doing a first look and regret it a litttttle bit. I of course loved seeing my husband for the first time as I walked down the aisle but wish we would’ve gotten pictures in daylight.” - Rebecca

I loved this take from planner Amanda at Lovely Occasions Weddings and Events, as well: “Even if you do a first look, there’s nothing quite like the aisle reveal. You’re still very likely to get tears because of all the anticipation and having all the eyes on you.” This is such a true and great point!

If you would like to know what we chose - my husband and I did not do a first look, but I do wish I would have considered as we did in fact get married at 6:00 in February. A little tip for those who choose traditional, though - with his astigmatism and the way we had the lights, he could not see me walk down the aisle at all. So…something to test out at your rehearsal! 

Finally, seeing the full picture of your wedding day can be difficult! I create (or am happy to work with your planner on) timelines for all of my couples, but I completely understand you may need a rough timeline earlier than three months prior to your wedding day. So! Be on the lookout for a blog with four different sample timelines with first look and no first look options coming very soon!